Eternally Dreaming ✶ Infinitely Wandering
My name is Claire Elise, and I am an LA based spiritual wellness blogger, Reiki practitioner, Tarot reader, dreamer, drifter, and dog mom.
It is my belief that we each, at our core, embody a divine facet of the Universe — imbued with unique talents and profound wisdom to guide us in our journey and to share with those whose paths we cross along the way. When we become consciously aware of what we carry in our hearts — when we remember and embrace our personal truth — we walk with greater clarity and deeper fulfillment. Aligned with our soul purpose, we reflect the purest version of ourselves into the world around us and reconnect with the infinite synergy that weaves all of the Universe together; We become the creators that we are meant to be.
For most of my life, I have struggled ruthlessly with just what exactly my soul purpose is — what sort of creator I am meant to be. I wanted desperately to be an actress when I was younger, only to develop a crippling fear of public speaking and being in the spotlight; I wanted to be an artist like both of my parents, but I didn’t feel that I could ever be as good as them and perhaps never truly gave myself the chance; I thought I would be a writer only to succumb to almost a decade long bout of impenetrable writer’s block; In the meantime I went to film school and endeavored to be a cinematographer, or maybe an art director, or an editor, only to meander in various industry roles strung together in a chain of bizarre side gigs for several years with a screenplay that I could never finish.
I was broke. My relationships were unstable. To top it off, I lost my father to a heart attack three days before my twenty sixth birthday. I was severely depressed and I had no direction. Everything seemed to be an upstream swim or a dead end.
Eventually I landed a job at one of the top creative agencies in Los Angeles, one that I had actually hoped to work for one day back when I was still in college. A win — finally. A path forward. But I was only three months in when, one night, driving home in bumper to bumper traffic on the 101, I began to sob uncontrollably at the thought of where that path was headed — where my life was headed; Waking up at an ungodly hour in the morning, sitting in traffic for almost two, edging on a panic attack for nine hours of the day from frenetic co-workers and perpetually angry producers, staring at a computer screen, my eyes hurting, my head hurting, my back hurting, stuck in traffic for another two hours, too tired to eat dinner, too tired to do much of anything, but riddled with too much anxiety to actually sleep, fantasizing about running away to some remote village in the Arctic Circle until the sun came up and my alarm sounded, rinse and repeat, with no light at the end of the tunnel that I could foresee. Sure I could climb up the career ladder, I could make more money, but I wasn’t sure that it was worth it. I had no life. I wasn’t sure that I even liked what I was doing anymore — it just felt so trivial, so meaningless, so wholly and completely unfulfilling.
Queue my nervous breakdown.
My father said once that we have no boundaries in life but those that we ourselves create, and I felt the weight of that sentence swelling in my bones more and more. I had become terrified of that split second between this world and the next, and looking back with regret instead of looking forward, satisfied, satiated, and ready for a new adventure.
So, I quit my job and left LA to spend a year back home in New York and try to figure things out for myself. I had no idea what I was going to do or how I was going to do it, only that I could not do what I had been doing anymore and I had some big changes ahead of me. I started journaling again — almost every night — and spent a lot of time in nature trying to ground myself and be still, trying to heal what needed to be be healed and hear what was in my soul. Slowly, my real interests began to reveal themselves to me and my true passion began to emerge from my heart.
As I immersed myself in my exploration of what meaning and fulfillment meant to me on a soul level, I found myself thoroughly inspired by the exploring/healing/transformation process itself — and what I learned was that the most deeply meaningful thing I could do with my time here was to help others to discover their own deeper meaning for themselves. That is when doors began to open up for me and I began to feel the flow of the Universe.
September Star is my journey and my process. I built this little corner of the digital Universe with the intention to inspire deeper exploration of the soul and spirit by examining and merging with the natural rhythms of the earth and cycles of nature. September Star is dedicated to the dreamers of this world, ever searching for the secrets in the stars; May we remain stubborn in our ways and have the courage to follow where our souls are called.
May we find our North.